What I’ve been reading (August 2015)

The aim of this blogpost will be detail all books and articles I read in the remainder of August 2015.

This is a a really insightful and deeply contemplative Modern Love piece by a recent Cornell graduate. She highlights how the modern generation hesitates to embrace the desire for companionship. The stigmatisation of companionship is mostly driven en-masse because of the individual desire to not be seen as someone weak/uncool/clingy.

It is our weakness in embracing our deep intimate feelings which prevents us from never conquering them. The saddest part is that there might be more out there who think like you, who feel a similar desire for obtaining strength from companionship, but you’ll never know that.

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What I’ve been reading (August 2015)

Strawberry Fields 2014 Happened

i hope these pictures emerge clearer than what they look right now.

So Strawberry Fields happened this weekend.

The finalists just blew my mind away.

I am beginning to realise that I’ll not only will I have to lead the show next year, but Ill also need to set it in a sustainable manner for years to come. I must also leave the people behind me inspired to take it forward. It entails a great deal of really complicated work, but I am up for it.

Blog (1 of 4)

Blog (2 of 4)

Blog (3 of 4)

Blog (4 of 4)

Strawberry Fields 2014 Happened

The Big Things Project

Ouch. Sounds like you’re having a tough time max. That sucks. I’ve been there, so I kinda know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It’s no bueno. I know. If you don’t mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don’t let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you’re just letting us both down. And you don’t HAVE to do that. You don’t HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno – There are no more zero days. What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt’ do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you’re in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that’s what you’re used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn’t happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That’s rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle – yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU’S. Uh what? 3 me’s? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you’s homeslice. There’s the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you’s are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you’ve done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that’s all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me’s is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It’s future and past you). Tired as hell and can’t get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one’s for future me, i’m gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I’m doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one’s for my best friend, the future me. I’m up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it’s gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don’t worry i’m gonna too long didnt’ read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn’t do it. Now you’re giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one’s for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that’s it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we’ve all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read “emotional intelligence”. Read “From good to great”. Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how’s them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by “much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days”. The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it’s tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It’s this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I’ll be oakin’ it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you’re becoming the champion you’re dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought’s son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you’ve steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that’s a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you’re like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

The Big Things Project

Today I fucked up

In my opinion, I fucked up pretty badly today.
I had to go for a publicity exercise for Strawberry Fields, but, like how its been happening often, I made the decision to get stoned on the way. I did not know that it would be this strong, and before I knew it, I was insanely baked.

I was baked to the point where I was functioning at half my normal speed. My inability to properly communicate and the lack of decisiveness, combined with an enterprising and smart first year, made me a clear dumb ass. I am not a dumb ass. I just make dumb decision. I wonder how I still maintain impunity from such a label. Maybe its my way of ensuring I do not feel too bad.

Certain things need to change…

Today I fucked up

I don’t know what this is

(I wrote this on 29 August, 2014. I must have been very stoned. I do not recall what it reads. I am putting it up here without reading it

PS – So I scrolled down to the bottom to see who I was referencing by “her”. Well, this rant did not arise after the first girl to who the second post of this blog is dedicated. About 8 months after my relationship with the first one collapsed, I found company with another. This rant was written after I ended things with the second one.)

It’s is not a matter of shame. That’s what you need to understand. Shame connotes negativity. That’s what you don’t want. What you want is purity. Purity in every form and manner.

Purity is nothing but pure emotional honesty (PEH). There exists PEH when you are just honestly true to yourself. It exists when you know the honest reason for every act you perform or thought you bear, and (1) have no latent purposes of negative emotion (2) follow the path of truth and (3) invoke a sense of passion, which is naturally felt in forms of compassion at times when it can be felt.

If that is there, there is positivity and respect within oneself, grounded in midst of humility.

You are becoming acerbic. You see only the negative and the bad in people. You see negativity in life as well. You are entering into a bubble. Break this as soon as possible. Why? Because it is the way to happiness. The happiness you crave for so much but have never been able to locate. This will end up being the story of your life. You, perhaps, do not want that.

You are an incredibly intelligent person. Believe this. You will go very very far ahead. But only if you are devoid of this negativity. Shashwant and Raag are the two individuals which exhibit most amount of truthfulness and honesty in their actions and behaviors. They truly care and value their word. To them friendships matter. To them their word carries more importance than any other thing in their world. People are not in their lives for 4 hours stretches. They prosper and be truly happy. And they smile. It is not cool to be gloomy. No one deserves to be gloomy. This is exactly what depression is. You are in depression at a very deep down level. Most of you is not depressed. Just the part of you which is most beautiful is clamped under the weight of this depression. I HAVE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS PEOPLE. I ONLY WANT TO SEE THEM NOT DO AS WELL AS ME. THERE IS NO WIN-WIN. THE WIN-WIN WHICH IS THERE IS AS A SHAM. IF SOME ARE BETTER THAN ME, THEN I WAN’T THEM TO SUFFER. YOU REALLY WISH ILL OF THEM. WHY? JUST BECAUSE THEY DID BETTER THAN YOU.

What I derive from this is that positive people are happier and certain of themselves, and this comes from the fact that they see goodness around them.

You are visually a genius. You are an artist. Okay, perhaps an artist atleast. 🙂

That’s where your true happiness.

BREAKING THE POST-MODERN FOURTH SCREEN [PIERCING INTO THE THOUGHT]

I am wrong. I am not an artist.

I am who I want to be.

I am a positive man.

I can be a positive man.

I can be whosover I want to be.

The only person who stops me is myself.

Change must come from within me.

And then I’ll soar.

In a sense of true purpose and value to the eco-systems around me.

All are wonderful people who are just wonderful people.

They are all noble. Okay, they might not all be noble.
But I have to be noble people.

I cannot bitch. I cannot lie. I cannot compromise on my values and ethics.

I am the strongest within my core.

Not even others, but my stray thoughts deprive me from my core where I am strongest.

I will fight this battle. I want to add value to society.

I want to be genuinely nice.

I HAVE TO FILL THE 20’S YEARS SLIDE SHOW

I MUST START MEDITATION

I MUST GO VEGETARIAN (ONLY ON SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF THIS EXERCISE)

I MUST NEVER SMOKE.

I MUST WORK TOWARDS MY GOAL. WITH PURITY IN MIND AND HONESTY IN WORDS.

I SHALL BE HAPPY.

I WANT A CUTTING EDGE, SHARP AND GREATLY FULFILING CAREER IN FINANCE. I WANT TO LIVE IN A FOREIGN CITY. AN INCREDIBLE CITY. I WANT A PLUSH JOB ENOUGH SO THAT I NEVER NEED TO THINK TWICE ABOUT MONEY. WHATEVER I WANT, I CAN GET. WHAT I WANT IS SOMETHING NO ONE CAN ASCERTAIN PRESENTLY SO ITS BEST LEFT TO THE FUTURE. I WANT TO BE THE BEST AT WHAT I DO.

I WANT TO BE SINGLE AND IMPROVE MYSELF BEFORE INVESTING in A GIRL AGAIN. BUT THEN I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING TO RETAIN HER. SHE’S MINE AND I WILL LOVE HER. I WANT TO KEEP HER HAPPY.

I don’t know what this is

When I was stoned…

I’ve decided to put this blog to good use. Hereinafter, I promise to use it more by documenting how I experience life.
My hope is to deliver an extra ordinary insight into drugs affect my life and my relationship with others around me.

I recently came across the banned Inner Sanctum poster. I promptly decided to download it. A print out of this will be incredibly rare commodity and an important art piece of the rock and larger free speech movement in India.

Oct-Orgy

It’s quite a poster I must admit.

When I was stoned…